A to Z advice for expats
The essentials of a successful expat life
A bumper-sized article with 26 of the most important aspects of moving and living abroad that you need to consider in your journey to your new life overseas.
It’s a whole A to Z of expat life!
A huge decision!
OK, so that’s cheating a little bit, it’s not really an ‘A’ – but I want to start by acknowledging that this is one of the biggest decisions you and your family will ever make. I can’t stress enough that if you are considering a move abroad then you’ll need lots of support, information and guidance.
Luckily, that’s what I’m here for! In this A-Z guide you’ll find links to useful resources and articles talking through many of the different considerations/decisions you’ll need to make. I really hope you’ll find it helpful. And don’t forget – planning and preparation is the key to success!
Boarding School
This can be one of the hardest decisions a parent can make. Is it best to take your children with you to your new location, or allow them to finish their education in a boarding school so they can remain in their home country? There’s no right or wrong answer. For many of us boarding school seems like a terrifying prospect, and we feel like we’d be separating ourselves from our children emotionally as well as physically. The good news is that with modern technology, keeping in touch really isn’t difficult and we can still play a full part in our children’s lives even if we’re not there every day in person.
Culture shock
Is it real? Well, yes and no. Culture shock is more about moments – not a whole life. Those moments when you see or experience something so unexpected, it sort of smacks you about your head a little. And, it’s often when you live in a country very similar to your home country that culture shock hits more often, and hardest.
It doesn’t matter that you’ve researched your new home from every angle and you’re excited about the move – being immersed in a new culture can be an exhausting and sometimes confusing experience. Culture shock can happen at any time, but most particularly when the honeymoon period is over and it can affect any family member, from the parent driving the move to the youngest child. The key is to spot the signs for culture shock in children and learn how to minimise the symptoms before they become a more serious aversion to your new home.
Departure
So, the big day has finally arrived and you’re off! Exciting… and stressful. Have you got everything you need? Have you packed your hand luggage properly? Have you got enough to keep the children entertained on the flight? Have you remembered to lock up the house, leave a key with your neighbour, re-home the goldfish… it’s endless last minute details that can ruin the overall buzz of finally achieving your dreams. What you need is a decent moving house checklist!
Emergencies
Hopefully you’ll never need the plan for emergencies but you must make sure you have one. On arrival in your new home, set packing aside (just for a moment) and write down everything you need to know about emergency services. What are the numbers to call for emergency assistance? Where is the nearest hospital? What are your escape routes if there’s a fire? Does everyone in the family – including children – know what to do in an emergency?
You may find my Expatability Chat Podcast episode helpful for this kind of planning – not something you have to work out in the heat of the moment: Expats and Emergencies Back Home
Family / Friends
For many expats this is a touchy subject; no matter how confident you are that this move is a good thing, you’ll always feel a bit sensitive about those you’re forced to leave behind – and so will they. One way to minimise the wrench is to have a good, solid plan in place for keeping in touch. Having a first visit booked gives everyone something to look forward to and set aside regular time for contact makes everyone feel a bit more positive. This may need a bit of organisation if time-zone maths is involved. A ‘keeping in touch plan’ might sound ridiculous when you’re in the early stages of planning your move but eventually it will help everyone to see this as a new beginning rather than as the end.
And I want to add in a lot about making friends in your new country, too. This is the key to your personal happiness, so you do need to get out there and find your people. Having a good support system is vital, as a lack of this often leads to something called ‘Expat Failure‘.
Guilt
Oh the guilt! Expat guilt is my most commented upon article here on ExpatChild… Expats have their own unique blend of guilt! Guilt about relocating children; about leaving people behind; about failure to keep planned visits. Guilt when you feel homesick and it’s not the easy, happy transition you hoped for. I also speak (rant a bit!) on this topic on my Expatability Chat Podcast.
Expat guilt…you can’t avoid it, but you can learn to deal with it. My masterclass on How to Erase Expat Guilt and Reclaim Your Life helps you do just that!
Homesick
Quite often, it’s the surprising little things that can leave us feeling homesick and a bit miserable. Like not being able to buy our favourite brands in the supermarket, not being able to watch a favourite TV programme or even not being able to light the fire at Christmas – because it’s sunny and hot! Occasional homesickness is an inevitable part of a big move and for most of us it’s readily overcome by the advantages of our new lifestyle. So again, there’s no way to avoid the occasional pang – but there are ways to minimise them. Understanding homesickness is the start.
Independence vs Isolation?
Most adults, and many older children, value nothing more than their independence. When you relocate to a new country, with a different culture, a different language, this can be difficult to maintain. This is especially true if you had to sacrifice your career to accompany your partner. Adjusting to your new life can be tough. If you’ve already secured a new job/school/university then it’s likely that you will quickly find new friends, making it easier to form a social circle and be independent.
However, if you’re the trailing spouse, or a post-exam teen or young adult, and you have nowhere to go every day, it can be difficult to integrate yourself into your new life and you may feel that your independence is jeopardised. You really do need to be proactive at reclaiming your identity and independence, otherwise isolation can truly kick in, and that is Not Good.
Jet lag
Just awful! If you’ve travelled between time zones before then you’ll know just how dreadful jetlag makes you feel. Luckily, there are some simple tricks and strategies to beat it.
Keeping in touch
Keeping in touch is an essential part of making sure your move doesn’t seem too monumental; too final. However, there’s a balance to be found. It’s lovely to be able to video-chat the people that you miss – but at the same time you must go about the business of building your new life and making new connections. You need to make sure that keeping in touch with ‘home’ doesn’t prevent you from moving on.
Language
I have so much for you to read on learning a new language. How do you learn a new language? Did you know you and your children can learn a new language by watching TV? How do your kids learn a new language? How can you teach your children a new language? How do you support your children to become bilingual? Will you learn the new language gradually or through total immersion? What works and what doesn’t?
Should you put your child into a local school so they are immersed in the language from the start? Listen to my Expatability Chat Podcast episode on language learning to discover why I don’t believe that full immersion is always a good format for children – and can be extremely damaging for some.
Money
Some say it makes the world go around… whatever your philosophy on money you’re stuck if you haven’t planned for foreign exchange transfers etc and you can’t access your funds in your new home country. Make sure you’ve done your research, contacted your bank and understand how everything works. You may find your bank at home won’t allow you to keep your account open if you live in a different country.
Nursery / Kindergarten
Entrusting your child to a nursery or school in a new country is always going to be a big deal. Perhaps you’re considering a bilingual kindergarten to give your child a head start on language learning? The keys to success are research, time, trust and acceptance.
Organisation
Some people love a plan (or a list! I love lists!) more than others. Whether you’re scrupulously well organised or a bit of a scatterbrain, you can’t afford to leave the organisation of your new life to chance. Particularly when packing up all your stuff. I have all the lists you need right here.
Pets & Planes
Moving overseas with pets. This can be more overwhelming than you’d imagine, but so, so worth it. Your new house becomes a true home when your pets arrive. If you’re moving abroad with a furry family member (Pets, I mean! Don’t be naughty!), then make sure you start planning well in advance. Don’t leave it too late to find out about vaccinations, passports and quarantine laws – most countries have very strict policies and time frames that must be adhered to.
Quotes
Just for a bit of light relief from the serious business of planning, I thought you might enjoy some quotes from poetry and literature about expat life. (Also, what else begins with ‘Q’?) I thought Ernest Hemingway’s was particularly delicious (if not necessarily accurate!). More quotes on resilience and change to help you through the stressy moments – I do like a good quote! Sometimes they can be helpful, sometimes annoying and sometimes they can fuel your determination to succeed against all odds.
Another entry for ‘Quotes’! Make sure you get good quotes from a selection of international removal companies before entrusting all your worldly goods to them.
Repatriation
Repatriation is just as difficult as expatriation; often more so because we don’t expect it to be. For many expats, going home is the end game; returning to your old life with the expectation that they’ll slip right back in from whence they came. Yeahhh, nope! Moving back home is not always that easy. Things at ‘home’ may have changed, people have moved on, jobs may not be as easy to come by, schools may not have the same standards as those your children have been used to and the culture will be different from how you’ve been living.
Repatriation and reverse culture shock should not be taken too lightly. Do take some time to listen to a couple of my Expatability Chat Podcast episodes to help give you a clearer picture of what to expect:
Schools
The aim for all parents is to raise a happy, healthy, well-balanced child with a good attitude to learning. Regardless of where you are in the world. There are lots of things to consider in choosing the right school. For example, if your move is permanent you might want to consider a local school where your child can be immersed fully in language and culture to fit in as quickly as possible (but please note that this isn’t always the best for your child). But, if you plan to return to your home country at any point, an international school might be the answer. You will find lots of great expat education resources and advice on my site. Being well prepared is a good way forward. Don’t just choose a school based on other people’s recommendation – you need the right school for your child.
Time management
Managing your time is a vital part of making sure the stress of moving doesn’t overshadow the excitement you want to feel. When you have too much going on it can all lead to overwhelm. And decision fatigue. And more overwhelm. It’s a lot. I get it, I’ve been there. When you’re getting ready to move, there is so much that needs to be done within a very specific timeframe.
Download my Moving Overseas Checklist and make sure you write absolutely everything down. Plan for at least 3-6 months in advance and then as much as possible stick to the plans you have made.
University
Maybe the reason for becoming an expat is because you want to study abroad, or maybe you’ve been educated as an expat child and now you’re ready to move on to university. The world is your oyster! And, if you raised your children overseas, don’t be too surprised if your wonderful global citizen takes the opportunity to spread their wings and attend university in another country… sorry, it happens a lot, so I just wanted to pre-warn you.
Visa
Don’t overlook it and don’t leave it too late; this could be the thing that completely takes the wind out of your sails if you don’t get it right.
If I could move ‘V’ to the beginning of the alphabet for expat life, we’d all be off to a great start! You need a visa to live in a different country, so this should be the absolute first thing for you to research.
Work
Whether you’re hoping to secure a job before you move, or move first and then look, you need to be well prepared. Research the job market in advance. Find out as much as you can about the recruitment processes in the country of your choice and talk to other expats to learn from their experiences. Make sure you have a great CV/resume that makes the most of your transferable skills (my advice is to get your CV/resume written professionally to give yourself a competitive advantage).
Learn about the employer before you submit your application. Always assume the competition is fierce and approach every application as if it is your only hope; sloppy applications lead to disappointment.
Alternatively, perhaps now is the time to change careers? Something like a portable career, or even starting your own location independent business can be an absolutely fabulous way to ensure your independence and freedom, wherever in the world you want to live.
eXpat life
Browse ExpatChild for written information and advice – there are around 400 articles in here, so use the Search to find what you need. Listen to my Expatability Chat Podcast for a different experience and angle. Join my Facebook Expat Chat Group and like my Facebook Page for an insight into expat life and to connect with other people who have been there, done that and got the proverbial t-shirt. They are all sources of great advice, inspirational encouragement and global wisdom.
Yell for help!
There are lots of resources, groups, articles and chat rooms out there for people just like you. I know that you’re feeling a huge mix of emotions right now, and that it can get overwhelming. I’m here for you.
Moving abroad is a huge decision. Whether you’re overwhelmed by choices, second-guessing your move, or just need an objective sounding board, I’m here to help. Book a 1-1 call with me here to get a neutral perspective, no hidden agendas – Talk With Carole.
Zzzz
Be kind to yourself! Moving home is exhausting and stressful; moving to a new country is exhausting and stressful x 10! It sounds obvious but we know all too well how easy it is to overlook the basics; set aside some ‘me-time’, relax, take time out for a cup of tea or a chat with friends and most importantly, make sure you get enough rest!
First published 21st December 2016
Updated 11th March 2025
