My expat kid

This post is a little different from the normal articles I put on this site. Mainly because it is personal rather than informative, but I feel it’s relevant to Expat Child as it deals with questions we ask ourselves and our children when we relocate overseas. Besides, it gives me an opportunity to bring up something we’ve experienced since arriving in Berlin which annoys and upsets me and my daughter.

I’ve just completed a questionnaire sent by a group connected to my husband’s company. It was called something along the lines of ‘Children Overseas’ and asked questions about our life overseas with children.

There was a section that needed to be answered by children. Different age groups had a different set of questions. My daughter completed the ones for her age group – 5-12 years. It was an interesting insight into her thinking. To be frank, most of the answers weren’t a surprise as, thankfully, we have a close and very talkative relationship.

Anyway, I thought I’d share the questions with you, along with her answers and my thoughts. You may like to try this with your own children.

One answer gives me an opportunity to rant about something that is currently happening here though, and I wonder if any other readers have experienced something similar and if so, how did you deal with it?

And the final answer threw me a little, as you’ll see!

Q: Do you like living in other countries?

A: Yes

Me: Just as well, really! She doesn’t really know any different as she’s lived overseas since she had just turned five years old.

Q: Do you know where you were born?

A: Yes, of course! England.

Me: No surprise there.

Q: Do you enjoy school?

A: Hmm, I guess, most of the time, yes.

Me: She doesn’t resist going to school but there have been some issues at the school she’s attending.

Q: Do you want to go to Boarding School?

A: YES!

Me: Again, no surprise as she’s wanted to attend boarding school since she read the Enid Blyton books and watched St Trinian’s!

Q: Do you want to travel when you are older?

A: Yes

Me: Some children who grow up overseas like to put down roots when they grow up and others continue to travel.

Q: Do you have many friends?

A: No

Me: It makes your heart break, doesn’t it?

She has absolutely no problem making friends, and she actually does have plenty – at school. However, it seems the mothers of these friends are unwilling to allow their child to become properly friendly with her outside of school. More than once I have heard this killer comment, “There’s no point, she will be leaving soon.”

“Soon”? We’re here for four and a half years! And it’s not just from parents; I’ve had it said to me by teachers too. The children have also picked up on it and are repeating it to my daughter.

This ‘outlook’ is possibly more prevalent here in Berlin as it’s come up several times now, but I have heard it once before, in Japan from a fellow expat, strangely enough. And other parents of expat children say they’ve experienced the same closed-mindedness too. [Since writing this, many, many people have contacted me telling me similar tales, and most of them are exoats living in Germany. You have been warned!]

What’s the answer? Sadly, I have absolutely no idea. Is it something you have heard and experienced? How did you deal with it?

And the final question…

Q: Where is your home?

A: Japan! Or is it England? Umm, Japan is where I feel most at home – I miss it. But England is ‘home’, isn’t it? Or is Berlin home? What does ‘home’ mean? I’ll just put “I don’t know”.

Me: Err…!

Follow some more of our tale here.