{"id":1850,"date":"2017-02-17T09:18:45","date_gmt":"2017-02-17T07:18:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/expatchild.com\/expatdirectory\/?p=1850"},"modified":"2026-02-17T12:51:59","modified_gmt":"2026-02-17T12:51:59","slug":"how-tell-child-moving-abroad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/expatchild.com\/expatdirectory\/how-tell-child-moving-abroad\/","title":{"rendered":"How to tell your child you are moving abroad"},"content":{"rendered":"

Preparing your children for an overseas adventure<\/h2>\n

Moving overseas is a big decision \u2013 moving overseas when there are children involved is a massive and difficult one. You\u2019ll be only too aware that you are taking them away from everything familiar and starting again in an alien environment, so you\u2019ll worry about how they\u2019ll cope. This is perfectly natural but if the move is handled in the right way, there\u2019s every chance your children will cope better than you do!<\/p>\n

Children are amazingly versatile; they adapt quickly to new things and they don\u2019t have the problems of preconception and forethought that we suffer from as adults (the never ending \u2018what ifs\u2019!). You can utilise their imaginations to generate excitement about a new adventure and you can empower them to feel positive and embrace change. Here\u2019s how\u2026<\/p>\n

Communicate<\/h3>\n

Share information<\/em><\/strong>: Right from the start your children need to be aware of the move and kept up to date with any new information. It may be tempting to make all the arrangements first and then <\/em>tell them \u2013 to put off difficult conversations \u2013 but being upfront really is the best policy. They need time to process the change in their own way and in their own mind.<\/p>\n

Use play<\/em><\/strong>: For younger children, role-play can be really helpful to overcome fears. Set up a family of small action figures and encourage \u2018moving away\u2019 play, in which you participate. Use this to introduce different scenarios (new schools for example) and to practise overcoming doubts and difficulties. You\u2019ll be surprised at how quickly your child can take a lead role in assuaging the fears of his or her charges.<\/p>\n

Be honest<\/em><\/strong>: Encourage your children to ask questions and give them honest answers. Set aside time to discuss the move and actively listen to what you children have to say. A lot of the time your answer may be that you don\u2019t know but this presents another important opportunity\u2026<\/p>\n

Research<\/h3>\n

When you don\u2019t know the answer, (or when you do but you need a visual aid), get your children involved in doing some research and finding out about their new home. Use an atlas to show them where in the world they will be; use Google maps to show them their new street and local area; find their new school and show them pictures and help them to contact their new school by email or letter to introduce themselves. If possible, establish contact with one or more children in the same age group and encourage regular correspondence. This will give your children a head start on making friends and they will be excited to meet their new friend\/s in person.<\/p>\n

Utilise the wealth of information online to find out together about local leisure facilities and opportunities. Make a list together of things to do, see and try in your new home and get excited about ticking them off when you arrive.<\/p>\n

Practise using Skype \u2013 this may seem silly when Grandma is still living a few streets away and your children see her nearly every day but learning to use Skype and understanding that by doing so they can still see those important people daily, will help to remove separation anxieties.<\/p>\n

Ownership<\/h3>\n

Ownership is important to all children over the age of 4. If they\u2019re old enough to have an opinion and to decide their own likes and dislikes, then they\u2019re old enough to appreciate involvement in decision making.<\/p>\n

Moving with a baby or toddler is relatively easy; their home is wherever you are and they have no strong attachments to anything other than you, so they will be easily made happy by maintaining their normal routine even in a different country.<\/p>\n

Older children will have more doubts but allowing them to get involved in finding out information, putting together lists of exciting opportunities, packing their own things and keeping in touch with people who are important to them, will help you all to overcome the doubts and look forward to the positives\u2026<\/p>\n

Keep your doubts to yourself<\/h3>\n

If your children sense that you have doubts and anxieties about the move (which of course you do) then it will make it harder for them to get excited about it. Children take our feelings into consideration much more than we give them credit for and our fears and anxieties quickly become theirs. Once this happens it can be difficult to break \u2013 you may overcome your worry and move on through logic and reasoning, your child, who lacks these advanced skills, may not. Be honest about the positives and be honest when finding out new information; don\u2019t share negativity.<\/p>\n

Packing<\/h3>\n

Let your children make a list of all the things that they want\/need to take with them. It\u2019s unlikely that younger children will think of the essentials \u2013 that\u2019s your job \u2013 but they will list all the things that will help them to retain a sense of familiarity and comfort. When it\u2019s time to pack give them responsibility for assembling all the items on the list and packing them. Tick them off as you go and you\u2019ll have no last-minute worries about whether Ted made it into the suitcase.<\/p>\n

Create some continuity<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s the small things that can make a difference. Continuity in routines, food, toys, games, books, favourite blankets, even pets (if you can) will help your children to settle and not be overwhelmed by unfamiliarity.<\/p>\n

Language<\/h3>\n

If the children are going to be immersed in the language of your new home give them a head start by learning to speak it together before you leave. Engaging a tutor can be very helpful to achieve this.<\/p>\n

The most important advice is to keep your children close. Don\u2019t alienate them by making all the decisions for them and forcing them to cooperate; approach the move as a family endeavour and get everyone to have a positive input. Give them some responsibility and ownership, don\u2019t dismiss their concerns, let them talk about it as much as they need to (even if it\u2019s an overload for you) and reassure them at every opportunity. Cooperation, love and respect will make this work.<\/p>\n

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Lots more\u00a0articles on this topic can be found on ExpatChild.com<\/a><\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Preparing your children for an overseas adventure Moving overseas is a big decision \u2013 moving overseas when there are children involved is a massive and difficult one. You\u2019ll be only too aware that you are taking them away from everything familiar and starting again in an alien environment, so you\u2019ll worry about how they\u2019ll cope. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1852,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_srk_meta_title":"","_srk_meta_description":"","_srk_robots_meta":[],"_srk_canonical_url":"","_srk_advanced_settings":[],"_srk_last_sync":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[230,54],"tags":[94,95,93],"class_list":["post-1850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-expat-kids","category-planning-and-preparation","tag-child","tag-children","tag-prepare"],"cubewp_post_meta":[],"taxonomies":["Expat kids","Planning and Preparation","child","children","prepare"],"yoast_head":"\nExpat Directory - Expat Directory<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How to prepare your child for a move overseas. 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